Holidays, birthdays and other special events can serve as a source of joy and positive memories for most children. Parents often plan carefully and stretch their budgets to make special events as magical as possible for their children. When parents no longer live together, those special days can easily turn into negative experiences for the whole family.
Disputes about celebrations and scheduling can cause tension between parents and stress for the children. Planning carefully for special events can make a major difference for parents sharing custody of their children.
What practices can help parents keep the joy in special days despite the shared custody arrangements for their family?
1. Set a reasonable schedule
There are many different ways for parents to share holidays and other special events with their children. Many families use an alternating schedule where the parents have every other holiday or birthday with their children. Others might split special days, with the children spending part of the day with each parent. Agreeing on a specific scheduling arrangement is critical for cooperative co-parenting on holidays and other special days.
2. Plan special events in advance
Some families travel across state lines for holiday get-togethers. Others might plan vacations around holidays and birthdays. Particularly when those special plans may extend over multiple days, solidifying arrangements for travel or family get-togethers in advance and then communicating with a co-parent about those plans is of the utmost importance. That way, both parents can make arrangements for the holiday season or birthdays. Communication about parties and flexibility when rescheduling parenting time may make it possible for both parents to celebrate special events in a meaningful manner with their children.
3. Coordinate gift-giving
Holiday and birthday gifts are often the focal point of celebrations. Some parents fall into the trap of competing with one another. They may overspend or end up purchasing the same gifts for their children. Communicating in advance about who intends to purchase what or setting a budget that limits what parents spend can both be ways to prevent gift-giving from turning into a competition.
Holidays and other special events require special considerations when creating a parenting plan. Finding ways to work cooperatively can make a co-parenting relationship more stable and sustainable for the family. Seeking personalized legal assistance is a great way to get started.
